Emmy Awards

17 09 2007

Watching it as too tired to do anything productive, reasonable, educative, intelligent or entertaining.

2000: Freshly sliced tomatoes, toast points, Capra cheese and 100% pomegranate juice at the handy. Green tea with jasmine leaves brewing.

2001: An animated song and dance routine. This is worse than Snow White at the Oscars but it’s my first Emmywatch ever.

2002: Cut to an awkward TR Knight during an Isaiah Washington/Seinfeld cast joke. Fair and balanced. It’s on FOX after all.

2005: Ryan Seacrest keeps clapping his hands. He is so short and trying to be funny. Why all the age of consent jokes about Ms. Pannetierre?

2010: Ray Romano is already 10 seconds too long. Is the silent ceiling mirror ball cut a censor image?

2016: Mr Terry O’Quinn is wearing a shiny pink shirt with a shiny sparkly tie. He should win.

2022: A mean Paula Abdul joke.

2027: Ms Heigl tells the invisible announcer how to get hooked on phonics. I hope she wins just for that.

2030: This western themed miniseries or whatever is going to win loads of awards, I can just tell.

2051: It is possible I fell asleep but Xtina can wake me up any time. I think Mr Tony Bennett might still be asleep though.

2058: Is Mr Duvall drunk and/or delirious? Calgary to Texas much?

2109: Mr Duvall now thanks “Chinese girls”. Drunk?

2110: Mr Doogie Howser makes an icky joke about age-of-consent. He should be so proud to be gay.

2111: Seacrest is not seen most of the time. This is a good thing.

2150: I think I fell asleep again. I must be tired. Helen Mirren to the rescue joking about the drive out music.

2153: Lewis Black – how hilarious! how pre-aneurysmal!

2207: Al Gore expands and fills up all 102″ of my screen. Fait accompli.

2209: Milk jokes about a copresenter’s decuvee? Classy bit, Mr. Garrett.

2225: Mr Seacrest tells us he is not gay. We care.

2233: Amazing Race wins. Should I watch it again after all these years?

2247: A drunk Sally Field starts screaming hysterically and then forgets what to say about the war

2253: A good sized America Ferrera (recently Photoshopped down for Glamour) wins. She seems sincere or a very good actor.

2257: Remember when Mr. James Spader used to be hot in Supernova. He does not really thank anyone but looks puffed, like Captain James T Kirk.

2308: Show ends. Highlight for me – Jersey Boys. Why?

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