Masala Dosa

5.6

Do not be caught unawares next time.

It was quite a dramatic experience for my visiting Midwesterner. I just poured on more Earl Grey.

Carry On

Just a carry on allowance reminder as the holiday travel season starts in a bit:

Australia – same rule as USA (100ml liquids and gels within clear sealable zip plastic bag no more than 1 litre). Applies on both arriving and departing international flights. Domestic flights are exempt but not if you use the international terminals as some do – check with your airline. Duty free liquids are allowed but only in sealed bags from the departing or most previous airport if in transit, purchased same day as the flight, and with receipt clearly visible.

EU excluding UK – same rule as USA except only on departure and EU-wide duty free liquids are okay (i.e., not just from the departing airport).

Indonesia – unclear 

New Zealand – same rule as USA but only applies to departing international flights. Domestic flights are exempt but not if they use the international terminals as some do – check with your airline.

Pakistan – no liquids at all. Gels are okay.

Philippines – no liquids at all, but at transit security they did not care

Russia – liquids and gels are okay. No sprays allowed.

Singapore – same rule as USA but only applies to departing flights.

Sri Lanka – same rule as USA

United Kingdom – same as EU but exactly only 1 carry on, no personal items except for coat.

USA – same rule as Australia except applies for all flights (domestic and international).

Vietnam – unclear

Lemon Grass

So I have been doing it all wrong all this time. Trim about one and a half inches off the root end of a stalk. Trim off enough stalk’s dry scraggly top. You should have four or five inches left. Peel off and discard the rough outer layers. Only the tender pale yellow and lilac ones in the core remain. Thinly slice crosswise into thin rings and make a spicy salad or grind up into spice pastes. Enjoy.

Faux Pas

Beware of these chop sticks faux pas:

• Indecisive/mayoi-bashi: loitering all over the choice of dishes spread out before you, unsure of what to eat
• Capricious/utsuri-bashi: picking up one item, then changing your mind to pick up another
• Groping/koji-bashi: groping for a favorite piece instead of eating in order from the very top
• Stirring/saguri-bashi: stirring your soup (shirumomo) and searching for ingredients
• Licking/neburi-bashi: licking chopsticks or residual food
• Stabbing/sashi-bashi: eating food by stabbing chopsticks into it
• Dripping/namida-bashi: dripping liquid from the tips of the sticks as you carry food to your mouth
• Drawing/yose-bashi: moving or pulling plates or bowls towards you with chop sticks
• Passing/hiroi-bashi: passing food from your to another person’s chop sticks
• Between lips/kuaw-bashi: holding them between yourlips instead of on the table or chop stick rest when taking a bowl in your hands
• Tooth-picking/seseri-bashi: using chop sticks for picking your teeth
• Vertical/tsukitate-bashi: sticking sitcks vertically into a bowl of rice
• Chewing/kami-bashi: chewing the tips of the sticks
• Drumming/tataki-bashi: tapping the table or plates
• Pointing/sashi-bashi: pointing to a person during your meal

Religious Riches

Read the whole Pew Report on wealth and religiosity to appreciate the graph of the ungodly and rich. See how far we have lost it. More than half of us say our culture is superior to others (a larger proportion than in most Western Republics) but in Italy, 70% feel their way of life is better. How could I even think of arguing?

Movie Piracy

Click it.

San Diego

Cambridge Eagle

You risk being run over when walking through the medieval lanes of Cambridge (“town and gown”) simply because students are verboten from owning cars. Lovely. This town is also quite musical and nearly every evening, there would be chorals, recitals or rehearsals emanating from nearly everywhere. J remarked that perhaps Cambridge had the highest per square foot concentration of churches than any other city we know: I cannot authenticate that but I like to think that might be true. It is rather pastoral. While punting down the Granta (I refuse to call it the River Cam because that is a later artificial connotation), we saw cows grazing across the fields at King’s College Chapel. We dropped into “The Eagle” for a pint. If you look up at the ceiling, you will see toasted (burnt) graffiti by RAF as this was the pub of choice of American and English aviators stationed nearby furing World War II. This was also the chosen hallows where Dr. James Watson and Dr. Francis Crick made their historic February 28 1953 announcement (Crick called it the “science of life”) of the discovery of DNA.

Interestingly, London’s Science Museum (tube: South Kensington) just last week canceled a talk by 1962 Nobel laureate Watson, an American, who indicated that he was inherently gloomy about the prospects of Africa because “all of our social policies are based on the fact that theri (sic) intelligence is the same as ours – whereas all the testing says not really.” The 79 year old said he had hoped that everyone was equal but posited that “people who have to deal with black employess find that this is not true.”

Michelin SF

Six more restaurants than last year have been awarded Michelin stars in the Bay Area.

• Bushi-Tei (SF) and Dry Creek Kitchen (Healdsburg) lost their single stars
• *** means exceptional cuisine, worth a special journey: French Laundry (Yountville)
• ** means excellent cooking, worth a detour: Meadowood (St Helena), Chez TJ (Mountain View), Aqua (SF), Michael Mina (SF), Cyrus (Healdsburg), Manresa (Los Gatos) 
• * means very good: Bouchon (Yountville), Chez Panisse (Berkeley), La Folie (SF), DIning Room at Ritz-Carlton (SF), Redd (Napa), Madrona Manor (Healdsburg), Ame (SF), Coi (SF), Cortez (SF), One Market (SF), Martini House (St Helena), Acquerello (SF), Boulevard (SF), Fifth Floor (SF), Fleur de Lys (SF), Gary Danko (SF), Masa’s (SF), Quince (SF), Range (SF), Auberge du Soleil (Rutherford), La Toque (Rutherford), Sushi Ran (Sausalito), Bistro JEanty (Yountville), Terra (St Helena), Farmhouse Inn (Forestville), K&L Bistro (Sebastopol)

Tarot Cards

For the Halloween Office Party, we manned the Fortune Teller’s Booth in rotation. The goal was to get the Tip Bowl filled as much as possible, as proceeds including entry donations were entirely forwarded to Hope Hospice, a worthy cause. But first, we had to know a bit about Tarot Cards to actually be able to use them with any sense.

Tarot cards are called the book of divination of the gipsies are traditionally a deck of 78 picture cards with dubious origins speculated variously as Egypt and China. Their widespread use in Europe was in the 14th century and today you can find them anywhere. The deck has 56 pictorial cards (similar to a regular deck of playing cards, Minor Arcana with suits of wands, swords, cups and circles/pentacles) and 22 added cards called the Major Arcana with pictures that have names like Fool, Devil, Temperance, Hemit, Sun, Lovers, Juggler, Hanged Man and Death. Regular readings help prepare you for the future, reveal truths about your life and divulge secrets about those around you.

Before a reading, the client shuffles the deck to transfer energy to the deck while concentrating on question in the area wherein guidance is sought. Readers of Tarot lay the cards out in special  combinations or spreads that help us visualize a pictorial representation of the situation for which my client has come to see me. In a traditional 10-card spread (Celtic Cross, illustrated above), the situation can be gauged as to past actions, current events and likely future occurrences. It can be quite an obsession with cultish or occultish aspects ascribed to it. The cards represent the fact that we all want to know what the future holds for us. The Minor Arcana cards present the more minor practical daily ups and downs in life. They are numbered one through 10 and include courts cards (king, queen, knight and page). The Major Arcana are not associated with the suits and are numbered 1 through 21, with the 22nd card (Fool) markes as zero. They represent strong long term energy or big events in or some event of life. Seeing a Major Arcana about a particular subject in one reading and then getting a Minor Arcana card about the same subject in the next reading means this subject is becoming less important in your life.

Halloween Party

Tonight is the Annual Office Halloween Party. Needs must. A good idea for a costume might be Austin Powers, considering it is simple and one-off:

1. Stop shaving chest hair or pencil some (loads!) in with eyeliner pencil.
2. Enhance shagadelic power with a male (Mars) symbol pendant on a silver chain.
3. Pull on tight briefs with a British Union flag emblazoned on the bottom.
4. Button up a white shirt with long, lacy sleeves.
5. Slip into blue or red velvet pants. Put on a matching blue or red velvet blazer.
6. Tie a cravat around the neck so it hangs over the blazer.
7. Find fake bad teeth to wear on your own.
8. Don black rimmed spectacles.
9. Curl your brown overgrown mop like hair with a curling iron and then brush it down letting bangs cover most of the forehead. Buy a wig. It is simpler but will make you sweat. And swear.

Some tips -

Smile and wink a lot.

Work into your vocabulary words like “randy,” “groovy,” “smashing” and “baby.”

Concentrate on finding your next shag.

Convince R to dress as a fembot and keep asking her, “Do I make you horny, baby?”

Londontown Apartment

When renting a prefurnished apartment in Londontown, I found some very handy tips I’ve excerpted here to keep in mind please:

DOs

• Exact address, with post code(look it up)
• Minimum day stay required?
• Discounts for longer stays with threshold of 7, 14, 21 or 28?
• Is VAT included?
• Cancelation fees?
• Telephone in flat? What is the number?
• Will you provide inventory list?
• Are linens and towels provided? What utensils in the kitchen?
• Bed configuration: twin, queen, king?
• Bath and/or shower?
• Television, web access, satellite cable?
• Air-conditioning? Fans?
• Heating? On timer? Coin-operated or other mechanism? Individual area/rooms?
• Any specific operational demands for electricity? Hot water availability?
• Nearest grocery store or supermarket?
• Lift or service lift? What floor?
• Daily housekeeping? Laundry facilities for guests? Cleaning fees?
• Measurement in square feet and images of layout?
• Problems with noisy neighbours?
• Reception staffed 24 hours?
• Any pets? (This is critical to me!)
• Check in and check out times?
• Be aware of fraudsters operating with telephone numbers starting with (0)70/ Payments such as Western Union are used with no fixed location for the individual and it can be connected anywhere using false identification. Platform numbers starting with 070 (international 004470) are set up on the web via ISP and can be answered anywhere in the world.
• Ascertain rental terms. If deposit is paid, can the rest be paid upon arrival (you must insist on this) or is full payment required in advance?
• Know all fees. Cancelation and payment vary by listing.
• Ask if landlady is member of the British Tourist Authority (if so, rating). If not, ask for American references you can contact personally to verify authenticity.
• Confirm with the agency about not being given a “substitute” flat if you are double booked. That is bait and switch.
• Acquire a range of recent dated photographs showing house number as part of the montage. Dates are key.
• Look at photos critically, including condition and quality of furniture. Only the best photos make it to the web.
• Read the description entirely.
• Ask for instructions to be left for the appliances, especially laundry and ovens.
• Do try to talk to the owner by phone beforehand.
• Do ensure there’s a local contact and have their name, phone number and address. You just need somebody to show you how to turn the heat on/down, turn the heater on, find the water heater, open the window, open the washing machine, bring the towels promised.
• Make sure you know how close public transport is. If you have a hire car, ensure public parking is close by.
• Take out travel insurance for prepaid expenses (rent or deposit)
• Read the fine print before you confirm.

DON’Ts

• Expect anything better than the photographs.
• Forget to include the cost of payment to the owner/agency (including cost of an interbank transfer for wiring funds)

Londontown Leisure

Air:

Flew in/out from London/Heathrow. Usual long queues on arrival at Passport Control with only two snake lines in stuffy warehouse like atmosphere. 3+ hours from arrival gate to apartment (took only 2 hours on return, each a weekend day with luckily no scheduled works on the Bakerloo Line). Per usual, recommendation is Heathrow Express to Paddington (GBP 29 single return ordinary class) for a 15 minute comfortable ride approximately every 20-25 minute frequency. Buy 7-day (not a weeklong but 7 exact days from first use) Oyster Travel Card for approximately GBP 23 incorporating Zones 1 and 2 only. Check details at tfl.gov.uk; you can top up as you go at the unmanned ticket dispensers as the Assistance Officers are really quite overwhelmed, perpetually. Topped up my Virgin Mobile at the Carphone Warehouse at Waterloo. This chain is inexpensive and widespread, but is closed Sundays and does not always open on time so you would be wise to have some remaindered credit on your Top Up account to begin with. Smaller kiosks at stores can also help you. Significant works at the forecourt of Heathrow departures might mean quite a stumble from HEX terminus to your departure gate – allow for time and get a trolley. 

Lodging:

Private apartment in the South Bank region via New York Habitat. Booked direct via website and telephone. Rates seasonal and vary. Properties in London town, Paris and New York. Booking fee to agency, refundable deposit to lessor, advance payment in full to lessor to guarantee blocked time. More affordable and comfortable than hotel room. Stocking up with fresh fruits, vegetables and sundry from Borough Market, and the luxury of cooking intermittently are non pareil. Bring your own toiletries. Sheets, towels provided. Amenities, utilities. Check rates, availability.

 

Performance (all tickets half price from TKTS near Sir Chaplin’s statue inside Leicester Square, not around it):

• Evening of Jazz [Wigmore Hall, 36 Wigmore Street, London W1U 2BP; 020-7258-8200; Tube: Piccadilly Circus]

• Wicked [Musical. Apollo Victoria Theatre, 17 Wilton Road, London SW1V 7HD; 0870-400-0751; Tube: Victoria]

• Rafta, Rafta … [Comedy. National Theatre at Lyttleton, South Bank SE1 9PX; 020-7452-3000; Tube: Waterloo]

•  The 39 Steps [Farce. Criterion, Piccadilly Circus, London W1V 9LB; 0870-060-2313;Tube: Piccadilly Circus]

• Lord of the Rings [Musical. Drury Lane Theatre Royal, Catherine Street, London WC2B 5JB; 020-7494-5456; Tube: Covent Garden, walk from Leicester Square].

• Fiddler on the Roof [Musical. Savoy Theatre, The Strand, London WC2R OET; 020-836-8888; Tube: Charing Cross].

• Mary Poppins [Musical. Prince Edward Theatre, Old Compton Street, London W1D 4HS; 0870-850-9191; Tube: Leicester Square].

• The Country Wife [Comedy. Haymarket, London SW1Y 4HT; 0844-844-2353;Tube: Piccadilly Circus].

• Boeing-Boeing [Farce. Comedy Theatre, Panton St, London SW1Y 4DN; 020-7369-1731; Tube: Piccadilly Circus].

• Monty Python’s Spam-a-lot [Comedy. Palace Theatre, Shaftsbury Ave, London W1; 020-7494-5456; Tube: Leicester Square]. Exactly as advertised. Adult language. Gay content. Grammar school production values. 2:20

• Footloose [Musical. Playhouse, Northumberland Avenue, London WC2N 5DE; 0870-060-6631; Tube: Embankment].

• The Fives Wives of Maurice Pinder [Drama. National Theatre at Cottesloe, South Bank SE1 9PX; 020-7452-3000; Tube: Waterloo].

• Eine Klein Nachtmusik [St Martin-in-the-Fields, NE Corner of Trafalgar Square at Duncannon Street, London; Tube: Charing Cross].

Museums (most do not charge for entry but some temporary exhibitions will levy a fee):

• Greenwich – Royal Observatory (get there just before 1300 to see the Ball drop in an arthritic manner), The Queen’s House and National Maritime Museum [Ferry from Tower Bridge to Cutty Sark Greenwich; return via DLR to Heron Quays; then Jubilee Line to Waterloo]. Rained a bit but certainly a worthwhile half day trip. London Walk for orientation by Gillian who looks a bit like Helen Mirren (GBP 8, concessions from voucher issued by Cambridge Day Explorer guide, Simon, who has quite the flair for the dramatic; that tour was GBP 42 – check rates walks.com). Check special events

• The British Museum [Great Russell Street, London WC1; 20-7323-8181;Tube: Tottenham Court Road; Booking for “The First Emperor” GBP13 online; 500 tickets released daily at 0915 Thu-Sat] Ten terra cotta warriors and one hundred artifacts on display. Captions and descriptions a wee bit propagandist. Also check out “Faith, Narrative and Human Desire- Indian Miniature Paintings” in Gallery 91, 4^th floor by lift. Free Galley-specific Guided Tours from Meeting points. Check timings, britishmuseum.org

• Victoria and Albert Museum South Kensington [Cromwell Road, London SW7 2RL; 020-7942-2000; Tube: South Kensington – enter using subway to Cromwell road with a tricky road cross bearing uncoordinated traffic signals] Bookings for The Art of Lee Miller, and The Golden Age of Couture: Paris and London 1947-1957. Free Eye-Opening Guided Tours from Grand Court under the Chihuly. London Walk for orientation by Margaret and her Scots accent (GBP 6, concessions). Check openings

• Tate Modern [Bankside, London SE1 9TG; 020-7887-8888; Tube: Southwark] Treat for the senses from the giant spider outside (Louise Bourgeois) to the crack inside (Unilever Series – Doris Salcedo’s Shibboleth) the Turbine Hall. Three people fell into the crack the morning I was there. Mind The Gap

• Royal Academy of the Arts [Burlington House, Piccadilly, London W1J OBD; 020-7300-8000;Tube: Green Park; Three-Legged Buddha. Antiquaries in Britain]. Get to the new location of the Zoo Art Fair by walking through the Burlington Arcade just north and then bearing a sharp right until you hear the thumping faux club music emanating from the Abercrombie and Fitch Store. Check timings

• National Portrait Gallery [St. Martin’s Place, London WC2H OHE; 020-7312-2463; Tube: Charing Cross]. Pop Art Portraits. Daily Encounters. Diana, Princess of Wales. Pop Art Music. Check evening talks

Things to learn:

• September and October are good times to visit with shorter queues and more available choices.

• Henry Moores around Kew Gardens [Tube: Kew] look rather similar and titles do not help discriminate

• Oyster Card is the way to go

• Spitalfields Market is more fun than Portobello (dodgy quality) or Borough (quite gentrified)

• Allot more time for wine-tasting at Vinopolis [Tube: London Bridge]. A lot!

• Limited shows at the Coliseum (ENO’s The Magic Flute, terrific Hytner production) and the reconstructed Globe on Bankside (Last show of Love’s Labour Lost, meh) mean more planning might help.

• Modern Art is very subjective. Extremely.

• M&S stores are ubiquitous. Hallelujah!

NY Habitat

The per capita expense of renting an apartment or villa whilst on a holiday period exceeding six (6) days, even if not value-added, is attractive enough and prompted me to research the subject somewhat. Some items to keep in the forecourt of my mind are -

• Time spent – nearly all contracts would charge you for some manner of limit, such as a week, month or fiscal quarter. Remember you are displacing the original tenant in more than one way, and they need to seek alternative habitation as well
• Advance arrangements for both the lessor and the lessee make it more appropriate (for both parties) to settle on a contract (terms, period, rate, arrangements for transfer) and plan with comfort and leisure. I would suggest at least a six month advance notice. Being ridiculously compulsive, I opt for an 8-month planning time table for each of my holidays, which tend to be somewhat, umm, overplanned. Seeing how rapidly the US$ is plummeting, a locked in rate also secures you a better exchange but one must surely not quibble over holiday expense.
• Due diligence is the key and you should ask for references or use a resource that reviews global rentals. I had the enviable luxury of word-of-mouth recommendation of NY Habitat from coworkers who had used it historically and repeatedly, so a lot of my spade work was already done for me.
• As in Vegas, Cabo and Cancun, the “number of persons a unit can sleep” might not be the number of persons a unit can sleep with comfort. I need to know specifics, square footage, number of beds (note, this is not the same as number of sleeping surfaces), and, perhaps, number of bed rooms. Is there a roll away, crib or handicap accessible section of the unit? A Murphy Bed or futon should never be mistakenly represented as a bed. Either is an abomination to the human spine. I can Photoshop anything to look massive and luxurious in extremis so you cannot, unfortunately, rely on photos alone – they are guaranteed to be staged, pristine and flawless. A square metre is approximately 11 square feet if you want to go Imperial/Metric. Do not expect a home exchange on the scale of The Holiday. That was a movie and you will probably not run into someone who looks like Lewd Jaw. Expect more on the lines of a clean just-out-of-dorm apartment with IKEA furniture, therefore calibrate accordingly. Or increase your budget substantially. If traveling with pensioners or little children, choose a lower floor unless there is a guranteed good elevator service. Never choose the ground floor as that is nearly always fraught with peril.
• HVAC is not central in central Europe, or most of Europe. Climate control in American homes is a luxury we take for granted. Be prepared to open large windows to let the fruit bats into your Italian villa at night (drawn by the scent of pomace from the neighboring winery) or get smothered in sheets if you do not fancy sleeping in the altogether. Cross-ventilation is mythical – do not believe in it blindly.
• Talk to an agent directly before you commit. Narrow down your choices but do not stubbornly fall in love with just one. You are not marrying into it, merely using it for holiday. If you are even a bit like me, perhaps it is just a respite for a late afternoon break to change into evening wear, comfortable sleep and an energizing shower. When you establish some semblance of a rapport with the agent on the phone or online, you could find something more appropriate or even (gasp!) drive the rate down to your price point.
• Obtain the promotional photographs, a sample of the contract, read all of the fine print, do a comparative analysis and verify in writing your dates of occupation before you even think of extracting your credit card. Also check for penalty and penalty deadlines.
• Check for “assumption of fees” – for longer than a week of occupation, sanitation, house keeping, stocking and maid service fees might be assumed. Ask for these specifically. It might be worthwhile in paying for weekly maid service anyway. Never asked for a stocked kitchen – stock it yourself with fresh items you love, you lazy sod. This is the minibar of all evils.
• Do not expect to be phoning at no expense. I was terribly excited to have broadband for free in my unit but did not expect it. In any case, I go electronically silent whilst on holiday so it did not really matter much to me. Carry a mobile phone for urgent matters, to dial in late for your appointments and to keep in touch with locals. Use one with pre-paid minutes or use a phone card. I use a basic Nokia that I use exclusively for travel purposes and top off upon arrival and charge before I unpack. Nobody at work knows the number. Nor do I!
• Plan well. No concierge. No bell hop. Do not overpack as you have to schlepp the goods up and down the unit from the street. You will book your own meals (or cook them, or pack them). You will book your own tickets (or stand in line at TKTS, or find a scalper outside the stadium). You need to be fortified with your guide books, maps and driving directions. You need your tube journeys planned out.

What I learnt:

• NY Habitat  is very efficient, systematic and organized. A few minutes on the website and I knew quite exactly where I wanted to be (I already knew when). A few email exchanges and phone calls later, I knew how flexible the rates would be. I mulled it over for a few days, during which I needed to be absolutely sure no long-haired cats would be or were ever in the vicinity of the apartment for rental. Throw me a cat and you might as well throw me into A&E. I received all the relevant documents, scoured them for any hidden agenda and sent out some clarifications. These were immediately addressed by Skyping. A credit card authorization later, I was put in touch with my lessor. We had surprisingly cordial exchanges (enough time for that) and I was confident I knew what I was getting into. I recommend them heartily.
• Things went off really well and I could not be more pleased. Deposits were wired, funds were transferred and clarifications made (where is the closest grocery, chemists, open air market, transportation). Upon arrival, keys and a very helpful information package were ready for me in a spotlessly clean unit with good energy. I headed to market to stock the fridge. It is my wont to request that housekeeping empty my minibar before arrival that I might stock it myself with local produce, so this was no different except that the fridge was bigger.
• If you decide to or are likely to split traveling (i.e., your entire party does not travel together), be sure to ask for an extra set of keys – critical if pensioners or kids would like to rest up a bit while you’re on your feet all day and night.
• Specifically check on availability of towels and linens. Habitually, I take my own thin cotton towels – they dry quickly and are quite easily rolled between honey jars upon return.
• I would never expect luxury toiletries from rental apartments, and am apt to draw on my stash of “borrowed” toilet products from past stays in boutique and high-end hotels. If I like a particulat bath product and know that it is exclusive to that hotel (i.e., probably not possible to buy online), I request housekeeping for some extra items and tip accordingly. You could also run by to the local Boots and fortify your stash.
• Scour the area for local urgent shops – Pizza Express, Boots the chemist, Tesco, M&S, Carphone Warehouse - and check local timings of operation. You never know when you need something obvious. I had these all marked out on a map and made a few copies.
• Where is the rubbish disposal chute? Does the unit recycle? Can you do laundry? Read all the equipment manuals for a change. Treat equipment with care and do not waste an egregious amount of water, gas or electricity. Behave as you would in your own home, as you are really a guest in someone else’s, whom you probably will not meet.
• Talk to locals and have a great time like one of them. They are often best resources to offer up little known tips and share neighborhood finds. The rewards are pristine.
• Be nice – leave the unit in as good or better a condition than when you entered. I am wont to take bottles of wine or little jam jars as advance thank yous for those who go beyond their ken to make my travel experience a great one. It is a small gesture but terribly kind to leave a little thank you note, quite unexpected even.

Kew Gardens

A perfect day to head to Kew for the Royal Botanic Gardens after I met D & A at Waterloo East and, notwithstanding tube closures from works (remember that Eurostar is moving to St Pancras in one month!), it was really an absolutely perfect day for endless strolls. The Pagoda is currently closed for works until 2009 (estimated). The sheer varieties of foliage and flora were lovely to behold. I especially enjoyed the decorative grasses. I must return in summer time to check out the roses. You should definitely visit Temperate House and the Princess of Wales Conservatory which has some surprisingly pink flowering cacti.

Currently, several Henry Moore outdoor sculptures are pre-eminent, strewn all over the grounds, some of them ideally located in the plush greenery with some autumnal colours diluting the verdure, and nearly all of them inexplicable blobs of metal reclining figures.

To get to Kew, take the District Line to Richmond and get off at the penultimate stop (it is in Zone 3 so you might need a from boundary extension card, about GBP 2.40 return single). The Piccadilly Line can take you as far as Earl’s Court (direction: Heathrow).

Foot Loose

Then:

Now:

West End

I have been quite the West End Boy all this past week. Here is what I saw, perhaps a bit much?

• Evening of Jazz [Wigmore Hall, 36 Wigmore Street, London W1U 2BP; 020-7258-8200; Tube: Piccadilly Circus]; For Tin Pan Alley fans. Thomas Quasthoff, German bass-baritone who is Professor of Music in Berlin did his Bobby McFerrin with Gabriel Kahane, a young pianist from Brooklyn. A good voice but egregiously incorrect advertising. 1:35 no intermission

• Wicked [Musical. Apollo Victoria Theatre, 17 Wilton Road, London SW1V 7HD; 0870-400-0751; Tube: Victoria]. For pre-teens. Unstoppable prelude to Wizard of Oz. Elaborate set. Few item numbers. Generic themes. 2:45

• Rafta, Rafta … [Comedy. National Theatre at Lyttleton, South Bank SE1 9PX; 020-7452-3000; Tube: Waterloo]. For Indian ex-pats. Ethnic patronizing dramedy based on ‘All in Good Time’. Pedestrian acting. Meera Syal disappoints. Very subpar. 2:35

• The 39 Steps [Farce. Criterion, Piccadilly Circus, London W1V 9LB; 0870-060-2313;Tube: Piccadilly Circus] For Hitchcock aficionados. Comedic avatar of Charles Bennett’s filmed adaptation of the John Buchan novel. Recalls radio theater productions from the forties. 2:15

• Lord of the Rings [Musical. Drury Lane Theatre Royal, Catherine Street, London WC2B 5JB; 020-7494-5456; Tube: Covent Garden, walk from Leicester Square] For spectacular viewing. Outstanding technically. Good compression with only one interval. Clever dressing. Unmemorable lyric. 2:45

• Fiddler on the Roof [Musical. Savoy Theatre, The Strand, London WC2R OET; 020-836-8888; Tube: Charing Cross]. For pensioners. Classic songs. Henry Goodman (who is given to too much schtick) took ill in the intermission and then the whole thing just fell flat. Stiff Damian Humbley sings well as Perchik. Abrupt end of story.

• Mary Poppins [Musical. Prince Edward Theatre, Old Compton Street, London W1D 4HS; 0870-850-9191; Tube: Leicester Square]. For children. Classic themes. Yank Gavin Creel does a great Cockney in “Step in Time”. Intense bag check at entry. Quite a bit long. Bonus – ran into TALF expert Adam Hornets

• The Country Wife [Comedy. Haymarket, London SW1Y 4HT; 0844-844-2353;Tube: Piccadilly Circus]. For fans of Restoration Comedy. Slapstick farce. Nudity. Lewd silly innuendo. Spotty acting by Toby Stephens. Fiona Glascott squeals like a cheerleader who cannot save the world. 2:10

• Boeing-Boeing [Farce. Comedy Theatre, Panton St, London SW1Y 4DN; 020-7369-1731; Tube: Piccadilly Circus]. For fans of slapstick. Innuendo-infested 1960s translation of the French play with Frances de La Tour as the scene-stealing French maid, Bertha. Immensely enjoyable. High energy Elena Roger and perfect timing with Neil Stuke. Classic single set with many banging Feydeau doors. 2:15

• Monty Python’s Spam-a-lot [Comedy. Palace Theatre, Shaftsbury Ave, London W1; 020-7494-5456; Tube: Leicester Square]. Exactly as advertised. Adult language. Gay content. Grammar school production values. 2:20

• Footloose [Musical. Playhouse, Northumberland Avenue, London WC2N 5DE; 0870-060-6631; Tube: Embankment]. For fans of the original motion picture sound track. No more Derek Hough. Film-based. Energetic aerobic singing. Lewd gestures. Good turn by singer playing Rusty. 2:30

• The Fives Wives of Maurice Pinder [Drama. National Theatre at Cottesloe, South Bank SE1 9PX; 020-7452-3000Tube: Waterloo]. Inventive realization of treelined home set in Lewisham. Second act sags between comedy and chaos. Steve John Shepherd is well directed but the play never delivers. Adult content. 2:40

• Eine Klein Nachtmusik [St Martin-in-the-Fields, NE Corner of Trafalgar Square at Duncannon Street, London; Tube: Charing Cross]. Chamber music. Mozart. Candlelight. Who could ask for anything more?

 

Bed Ware

Easily my favorite display at the V&A South Kensington is the Great Bed of Ware. This enormous 3-meter bed dominates room 57. The bed once slept 26  butchers (and their wives), and was rotated between several hostelries in the town of Ware, in Hertfordshire. It was used more as an advertising juggernaut than actual site-specific bed for use. Most components of the Great Bed were constructed in or near Southwark, which ironically is the home of the New Globe Theatre, while you will remember that William Shakespeare gratuitously name drops the Great Bed in Twelfth Night.

First Emperor

The largest collection of Terra cotta warriors from Xi’an to ever travel together out of China is here. Ten warriors and about one hundred artifacts are on display in the central Round Reading Room next to the Grand Court of the British Museum. Entry is every ten minutes Thursdays through Saturdays, and you would be wise to book online (GBP13 total, and an additional GBP 3.50 for the audioguide, a must) to remain independent of the throngs that queue for the timed 500 tickets that go on sale every morning at 0915. They typically will sell out before noon. If you have not been to Xi’an (or wish not to), then this is perhaps the closest you will get to them. However, the exhibition is very small thought significantly enhanced by the digital video shorts and documentaries constantly cycling around the exhibit area. Museums, however, easily degenerate into leaflets of propaganda and there was the disturbing aroma of promoting Chinese supremacy at the beginning of the display. Weapons and manner of assimilation are reduced to technology more than function. The latter part is fascinating as you watch the individualistic portrayals in the warriors, working as the slaves did out of a single solid mould cast. Most intriguing of all is the continued mystery of what lies under the central mound under which it is believed the First Emperor is buried amond rivers of mercury. I now see my own life size replica of a terra cotta warrior (he greets you upon entry to the ingresso of the house) as much more mysterious than before.

While you are there, head to the Ladies Loo area near the north wing Lifts (near gallery 33, India) and head up to the 4th floor to check out “Faith, Narrative and Desire“, an absolutely lovely collectionof well described and catalogued Indian miniatures including some fabulous examples from the Pahari and Paithani schools of art.

Doris Salcedo

So I walked across Southwark in the middle of the noisy (but very fun) central city taxicab strike to get to the Tate Modern to look at a crack. It’s offical name is Shibboleth. Don’t run away.

The 8th installation (after towers, walls, boxes and the Sun) to occupy the Turbine Hall at the lower level is a giant crack running 548 feet of the cavernous hall beginning as a hairline in the concrete and then snaking across chasmlike. Nobody would tell me (I also read all 4 pages of the hand out) how it got there but apparently it took over a year to construct. Elsewhere. Friends who were at the Tate Modern last week were in the dark as the Turbine Hall was closed for works. Looking into the fissure, I could not quite tell how deep it went but it appeared lined by chicken wire and the chasmatic faces were not congruent which meant it was not a simple crack. The (grandly archeological) plan is the crack will be filled in at the conclusion of the exhibit April next year. Nicholas Serota has confirmed that the crack does not damage the integrity of the floor of the Turbine Hall. Per the author, the crack is the gap between white Europeans and the remainder of humanity – this I did not see or appreciate but I was not one of the three idiots who fell into the crack. Picture this. You are in a white concrete floored Turbine Hall. You came here to see the crack in the floor. The crack is never bigger than a foot. You fell into the crack. You MUST be an idiot. Authorities are considering putting “Mind the Gap” signs around the crack. Oh boy.

I can confirm the crack is not an optical illusion. You have to get there immediately and check it out for yourself. Please mind the gap.

London Walks

I took a couple of London Walks last week and they were quite lovely.

In Cambridge, Simon guided us using many modes of transport so it really was not just a walk. We took the morning train from St Pancras King’s Cross (Tube: Kings’ Cross, Platform 9 3/4 at 0934). Droll, really. Simon has a flair for the dramatic. The train is direct to Cambridge station whence a Meridien bus snaked us around Madingley (a small village near Cambridge) where the Cambridge American Cemetery and Memorial opened in 1956. 3812 are buried and the names of 5127 are inscribed on the Wall of the Missing – look for Glen Miller’s name. The chapel is quite serene. The bus passed by MSFT HQ (D, I have a picture for you!), Cavendish laboratories and the various colleges. From the mound of Cambridge, we got a good panoramic view of the city and then began the walking bit, quite leisurely actually. The heart of town and gown is chockful of history, and I need to fact-check some of the more bizarre things we were told about. Merits their own blog entry after authentification. Lunch was in a small chapel/cafe, of middling quality. Tours of King’s College and its chapel were quite delightful. Wound up with a stroll on the greens of Cambridge and a little punting by a handsome swain, Eliot, on the river Granta. You had the option of leaving early, with the group, or staying on to meet with professors of Mathematics.

It rained Tuesday but that did not keep Gillian from showing up (Tube: Tower Hill Tube front entrance at the medieval Roman wall) on time for a ferry and walk to Greenwich. The ferry takes about 20 minutes, and Gillian gives you a good overture to Queen’s House, the Old Observatory, Royal Naval College and the little town. Cutty Sark is undergoing extensive refurbishment and was under wraps. The rain eclipsed most of Millennium Dome. Amble through the town after you hit the museums. Be sure to be at the Observatory just before 1300 to see a somewhat arthritic Giant Red Ball descend. Wear comfortable shoes.

On Friday morning, a rather stern Margaret and her delightful Scots accent walked us through the V&A South Kensington (Tube: South Kensington). Of course, I enjoyed the Great Bed of Ware and the Cast Court the most. After the tour was over, I took a guided docent tour through the British Galleries, spent more time in the textile area, ambled through South Asia, had a bit of lunch and then strolled into the Egyptian escalator at Harrods. It is still quite too much for me. I barely made it in time that afternoon for Judy to walk us through St. Paul’s Cathedral (Tube Exit 2: St Paul’s) where you avail of the Group Rate. I found the crypts underneath fascinating and spent a bit of time looking at the carvings later to bide the time until Evensong.

As introductory tours, London Walks are fine. Groups sizes can be quite large and, without a megaphone or wireless transmitters, you risk losing some facts. Nevertheless, they were each unique and fun and you can springboard off on your own at the end.

BBC World

Then:

 

Now:

Tagine Cooking

Tagine is Moroccan for the glazed conical lidded earthen cooking and serving vessel, and the food prepared therein. Classically used by nomads as portable ovens over charcoal braziers for stews (usually with meat), care must be taken when using the tagine to serve at the table as the base will be very hot. Hot air rises into the conical lid as moisture condenses on the inside even as the shape increases circulation infusing the food with spices and flavour. A low indirect heat lets it simmer for hours for exceedingly tender meats and meaty foods. Few tagine recipes need initial browning making oven cooking ideal for slow simmers. Tagines may be multipurpose or traditional or used merely for serving. When buying your tagine, be sure to check the type. Serving tagines are highly coloured and patterned, unsuited for cooking and typically not dishwasher safe. Traditional Moroccan cooking tagines are glazed terracotta and need seasoning before first use. They maybe used in the oven or over a low gas flame (use a heat diffuser), and are not dishwasher safe. Please wash by hand with warm soapy water. Ceramic tagines can be used in the oven but not on the range, are fully glazed and require no seasoning, being dishwasher safe.

Seasoning your tagine for first use removes the earthen smell and strengthens the structure. I recommend it -

• submerge in water for an entire hour
• rub the inside of the base and lid with cheap olive oil (not EVOO)
• put in a cold oven, set to 300F for 2 hours
• remove from oven and let cool to room temperature overnight
• wash in warm soapy water with hands and dry with a clean lint free cloth

My simple tagined vegetables -

• Caramelize onions. Stir in garlic, ginger, ground coriander, cumin and pepper. Cook for 1 minute.
• Add tomatoes, carrot, pumpkin tomatoes, and parsnips until they sweat.
• Scatter over lemon zest, coriander, saffron, salt and chili
• Pour over water to cover vegetables and add cinnamon stick to simmer in tajine for 30 minutes.
• Place 500 g of couscous in bowl with 40g butter. Pour 750 mL boiling hot water and cover with clingy wrap. If not yet tender after ten minutes, add a bit of water. Fluff it up with a fork and set aside. 
• Now add eggplant, zucchini, cabbage and apricots to the tajine. Simmer in tajine for 30 more minutes.
• Remove cinnamon stick when all ingredients are tender.
• Divide couscous in 6 plates. Serve vegetables in center (L calls this my volcano). Scatter almond slivers. Garnish
• Wine pair with a late harvest Riesling.

Love Life

“You can like the life you’re livin’; you can live the life you like.”

Isn’t it the best feeling to be able to head to Londontown in the autumn. Best. Holiday. Ever. And lovin’ it.

Tyra Banks

Açaí Berry

D had me over for dinner and an MLM presentation for Monavie, a juice blend touting the merits of the legendary Açaí berry last night.

Some Monavie facts:

• The berry arises from the palm of the same name and is native to tropical central and south America, from Belize to Brazil. It is a small 1″ diameter purple drupe with less pulp and nearly 80% seed, produced in branched panicles of 900 fruits. Its extract is the star of the Monavie Blend.
• The Monavie berry seed has high ORAC but not as high as the mango, blueberry or lychee, established fruits in the anti-oxidant health food market, and is touted for its restorative and anti-inflammatory properties. There is no standardized method in which ORAC may be measured and thus the numbers do not mean much.
• The native population consumes egregious amounts of the berry, almost faddish, making up 42% of their diet and drinking nearly 2-3L a day. There is a significant amount of unsaturated fat in the berry. It is served cold with sugar, milk and/or tapioca to mask the hideous taste.

Some fiction:

• The juice blend touts the berry as being the premier ingredient but does not list the actual percentage of blend from the berry itself. Up to 16 other fruit juices are blended in, ostensibly for any combination of masking the horrid taste and for their own antioxidant properties. This is marketed in a wine bottle to affluent customers at nearly US$40 per bottle (compared to nearly US$5.99 for 64 fl oz of acai berry juice or even less for acai extract in capsule form from health stores).
• The daily recommended volume is 4 oz. This would mean an outlay of US$180 per month. Wheat grass shots are less expensive, and I cannot even afford those. Remember this volume is still less than the daily consumption of 3L a day, which has been shown to have anecdotal anti-oxidant effect.
• The berry is harvested twice yearly. For the antioxidant effect, it should be consumed immediately thereafter as it deteriorates rapidly and thus is rarely ever available outside the immediate neighbouring region. Freeze drying and reconstituting usually eliminates antioxidant assignation. The berry in the blend is a combination of pulp extract and freeze dried material.
• The only “scientific” evidence is based on a sample size of 12 (half of whom were fed placebo encapsulated potato flakes colored purple, i.e., none was given the juice blend) and is unpublished. The only publication pertaining to the berry’s health effects is in an agricultural journal. Naturally, the juice blend is not FDA approved and it is not considered a health supplement either.
• The company, based in Utah, uses an MLM scheme to sell the product. It is not available at retail outlets, like spas, health clubs or health food stores, like GNC.

If you like the juice blend and have loads of US$ to spare, drink it. You will however benefit more from eating 4 delicious red grapes daily. Me? I’ll stick with my morning shot of pomegranate and/or blueberry juice.

Kashmiri Pilaf

Wash 500g basmati rice several times until return is clear. Soak in cold water for 15 minutes. Otherwise, it will be a bloody sticky mess. And not very nice to look at.Heat 2tbs clarified butter (ghee, most Indian grocery stores) in a pan. Add 4 cloves, 1 cinnamon stick, 0.5 tsp cumin seeds, 2 bay leaves and 4 cardamoms. Add the soaked rice and fry for 2 minutes.

Mix 0.5c cream, 2C milk, 1 tsp sugar and a bit of sea salt in with 0.5C water. Boil. Cover and simmer until cooked. Then add in 1C chopped mixed fruit. Sprinkle a bit of rose water before serving.

Good Morning

Gliddy glub gloopy
Nibby nabby noopy
La la la lo lo
Sabba sibby sabba
Nooby abba nabba
Le le lo lo
Tooby ooby walla
Nooby abba naba
Early morning singing song

Journey Home

The journey home is never too long

Your heart arrives before the train – some yesterdays always remain

I’m going back to where my heart was light

Where my pillow was a ship – I sailed through the night

When open hearts are waiting there – there’s room to love and room to spare

I want to feel the 

And think my wishes through before I wish again

Not every boat you come across is one you have to take

No, sometimes standing still can be the best move you ever make

The journey home is never too long

Comes helps to heal the deepest pain

The heart arrives before the train

Big Ben

.. bongs again after 7 weeks of maintenance work. Yay us!