Clustr Map

Melt Down

Carmel Valley

Driving Range

Fantastic Foreskins

Could you wait that long for a fantastic foreskin?

Airline Amenities

The results are in.

Top 5 Comfort Features:
  1. Roomy and clean bathroom
  2. Clean blanket/pillow
  3. Noise-canceling headphones
  4. Sanitizing wipes to clean tray tables/arm rests
  5. Anti-germ products/toiletry kits

Top 5 Entertainment Features:
  1. Video screen at every seat
  2. On-demand movies
  3. Internet access
  4. Route map display
  5. Real-time satellite TV

Top 5 Complimentary Beverage Choices:
  1. Bottled water
  2. Soda/cola
  3. Wine
  4. Fruit juices
  5. Cocktails

Top 5 Complimentary Snack Choices:
  1. Fruits and vegetables
  2. Cheese and crackers
  3. Nuts
  4. Pretzels
  5. Candy and cookies

Top 5 Luxuries Travelers Would Pay Extra For:
  1. A bed
  2. Gourmet food
  3. Massages
  4. Premium liquor
  5. Manicures

Top 5 Airlines for Best Amenities:
  1. Singapore Airlines
  2. Virgin Atlantic
  3. British Airways
  4. Emirates
  5. Cathay Pacific

Five Worst Airlines for Amenities:
  1. Southwest
  2. RyanAir
  3. U.S. Airways
  4. American Airlines
  5. United

Scandal Notes

K and E were over to see the weirdly intriguing film “Notes Of a Scandal“. Of note is that three lead characters (played by Dame Judie Dench, Cate Blanchett the Alabaster and Anne-Marie Duff) all played Elizabeth the Virgin Queen at one time or the other. However, it is in this film that the character of Sheba says to Barbara: “My father always said ‘mind the gap’, the difference between life as you dream it and life as it is.”

Green Day

We only have the one.

Canto Alla’vita

B is also a fan of the Corrs. Andrea’s new film, Broken Thread, was released at the Berlin Film Festival. It co-stars Linus Roache and Saffron Burrows. 

Then

Now

Spring Arrivera

Now that your rose is in bloom.  A light hits the gloom on the gray.

Outlet Stores

The best deals in usual stores in Italy is in January and July (like in the UK) where items are slashed by 70%. Discount stores never have sales. Outlet stores have items from previous years’ selections, factory seconds or showroom pieces. The best deals in regular stores in Italy can be found in January and July, when you can find items reduced up to 70% off their retail prices. Discount and outlet stores never have sales. Some of the items you’ll find in the outlets are factory seconds or showroom pieces, and you will find garments from the previous years’ collection as well. Most shops are closed on Monday mornings, and do not open until 1500. Some even stay closed for the entire day on Mondays. Pretty much avoid Mondays. Also check for Bank Holidays – they have loads of them. As you are a visitor and plan to leave the European Union, you can get a refund on the taxes you have paid on your purchases, called the “Detaxe”. Many stores have a minimum purchase in place to qualify for the Detaxe, so check with the shopkeeper or store manager for details. If you are serious about scouting out discount stores and outlets, pick up ”Lo Scopri Occasioni”, written by Theodora Van Meurs and published by Editoriale Shopping Italaia S.R.L. This English book serves as a guide map to finding the stores you want to visit, listing over 2000 shops along with directions and what to expect when you get there.

If it’s Prada, Fendi, Armani, Gucci, or other famous Italian fashion designers that rock your boat, most have outlet stores in or near Milan, Florence, and Turin. All offer a designer shopping environment and friendly, courteous staff that speak a number of different languages. In the small town of Montevarchi, Tuscany (half way between Milan and Florence), you’ll find the Prada Outlet, officially named “Space”. The sign on the building is very small and hard to recognize, but see the crowd of people waiting to get in. There is a queue to enter but inside you’ll find rows and rows of Prada and Mui Mui clothing, handbags, and shoes, all at 60-70% off their regular retail prices. Arrive before 0930 when the store opens. The Gucci outlet is nearby in Tuscany, at Leccio Reggello. The building itself is not marked “Gucci” but many have enjoyed buying last season’s Gucci items at more than 50% off. Look for a white and green building with red awnings, that looks somewhat sleeker and a bit out of place with its surroundings. Check out the Armani Factory Store in the town of Vertemate, near Como. Three stories of Armani fashions, direct from the Emporio line. Nearby is the Jil Sander outlet, in Cirimido, where you can purchase gorgeous shoes and boots, as well as the Lario collection of footwear. For shoes, you should also visit the Bruno Magli outlet, found in Bologna. Head to the town of Parre, near Bergamo, for Valentino bargains. The outlet is called New Marbas, and you’ll find an extensive collection of sweaters here. They also carry the Alfred Dunhill and Polo lines. Fontana di Trebbia in Milan carries Dolce & Gabbana and Fontana suitcases, handbags, and some assorted accessories. Again, arrive early to avoid the rush. The main Dolce & Gabbana outlet can be found in Legnano, just outside of Milan, where they carry a full collection of garments, shoes, and accessories, mostly from the previous years’ lines. The Surplus Diesel is in Molvena, near Vicenza. Diesel has a bargain-basement feel with prices to match. You’ll find denim, children’s clothing and t-shirts. The first floor is full of factory seconds. Among the other outlet shops in Tuscany are Versace, Fendi, Ungaro, Tods. Yves St. Laurent, Ferragamo, and La Perla.  Outlet malls are becoming popular in Italy, and they can be found sprouting up in most major cities. Outlet malls of note are The Mall (outside of Florence), McArthur Glen Serravalle (Piedmont), and Fashion District (just south of Rome). Many major labels have shops in these outlet malls.  There are specialized tour groups for ardent shoppers. I laughed when I saw these in the Great Mall of America flying in shoppers from Scandinavia. I am sure the Fiorentinos are laughing at us now.

Coffee Doughnut

Robert Bohannon, a molecular scientist form North Carolina, has developed a way to add caffeine to baked goods without the bitter taste of caffeine. It does not stain your teeth either. Each piece of pastry is equivalent to two (2) cups of regular coffee. While this is not yet on the market, he has approached three purveyors. Krispy Kreme. Dunkin’ Donuts. And Starbucks. Just when I thought the peanut butter and jelly manufactured like a Velveeta cheese slice was the limit of creativity.

Viens Malika

Imus Mornings

Harvey Fierstein says it all.

So Lucky

Then

Now

Bali Reunion

Reunion for Bali travel mates was a lovely time at the week-end:

• Pizzetti with Fontana, cherry tomatoes, roasted elephant garlic and chives (Domaine Carneros Taittinger 2003 Sparkling Wine kindly brought in a ginormous ice blue cooler by Mme) Lentil whirls. Salted banana chips. Dal crisps seasoned with garam masala.
• Roasted Avocado stuffed with habanero compote of prickly pear, green apples and shallot, covered with Mozzarella (Freshly squeezed tangerine juice with Seltzer)
• Sweet potato bisque in Cocoanut milk base cooked in Thai basil served as Bookbinders’ Soup (with Livermore Sherry infused with lemon grass reduction)
• Lettuce salad with microgreens, alfalfa sprout, fig and pomegranate vinaigrette with paprika/ginger/parmiggiano reggiano crisp (Blason Tocai Friulano Bianco in Bruma 2005)
• Cracked red bell pepper and ginger espuma with steamed white asparagus spear
• Intermezzo: Pomegranate granita “pop”
• Portobello heads drizzled stuffed with sweet potato, yam, parsnip, broad beans and olive tapenade (Poggio Lontiano Brunello di Montalcino 2000)
• Tandoor style minty yoghurt marinated assorted squashes roasted in walnut oil and smoked over applewood chips (La Loggia Barolo 2002)
• Grilled cottage cheese cubes, snow peas and green asparagus with New Zealand smoked salt, cumin and arrow root and nasi goreng for M(Conte di Bregonzo Amarone della Valpolicella Classico 2003)
• Fromage (unripened): Truffled Italian Cow Cheese, Humboldt Fog Goat Cheese, Fondant de Brebi Ewe Cheese (Dates, poached Asian pear)
• Arborio rice pudding cooked in rose petals and saffron milk with Gloucestershire honey (Pu-erh cha)
• Trinidadian plantains braised with unrefined pumpkin seed oil with ginger ice cream and bluberry coulis
• Osso di morto (Baroncini Vin Santo)

Vegetable Grill

Why don’t more of us do it? Cut the veggies into pieces that will cook quickly and evenly. All pieces should be of consistent thickness and not more than 0.75 to 1 inch thick. Soak on cold water for 30 minutes before grilling to prevent desiccation. Pat dry, then brush lightly with oil to prevent sticking. Do not overcook.

Asparagus: Cut ends. Soak 1 hour. Brush with EVOO with sesame oil. Turn often. Remove when tips brown.

Bell Peppers: Cut longitudinally in the middle. Destem, deseed and derib. Brush lightly. 3 mns each side

Chili Peppers: Brush with walnut oil. Grill whole on each side 3 minutes. Cut off stems and deseed.

Corn on the cob: Partially remove husk by pulling back. Remove silk. Cut end. Soak 30 mins. Dry and brush with butter. Fold husks back and twist tie ends. 7 minutes. Do not burn.

Egg Plant: Cut lengthwise (smaller) or disks (bigger). Soak 30 mins. EVOO. Grill 3 minutes.

Garlic: Cut off root end of whole bulb. EVOO brush. Place cut side down. 10 minutes until skin brown.

Mushrooms: Rinse off dirt. Dry. 5 mins small, 8 mins big. Use basket for smaller shrooms.

Onions: Deskin. Cut 0/5″ horizontally. Grill 4 mins.

Tomatoes (yes, technically a fruit L, I know): Cut inhalf top to bottom. Cut side down. 3 minutes.

Potatoes: Wash. Dry. Rub with EVOO. Wrap in aluminium foil. Gril 45 minutes. Turn often.

Zucchini and small squash: Slice 0.5 inch thick. Grill 3 minutes per side. Can cut smaller down the middle and grill halves.

Yellow Pages

An updated copy of the Yellow Pages dotted my endless driveway as I headed home last night. This instantly reminded me to scour the home for every Yellow Pages I have never looked at – there were 8 for the record – and recycle them. Who uses the print edition anyway? It is printed on recycled paper for a very good reason. Then I saw this Letter to the Editor in a paper in Cedar Rapids, Iowa and I present it verbatim without permission:

A simple surgery for massive phone books
Many phone users in Cedar Rapids have recently received new phone books. When we picked ours up from the porch, we just shook our heads. It appeared to be even larger than last year’s. The book has become so large it’s impossible to pick it up and find a number without considerable effort. We have found a simple solution that a lot of you might appreciate. Open the book up to the division between the home numbers and the yellow pages. Spread the gap as far as you can, then using a box cutting knife carefully cut through the backing until the two are completely separated. Viola, now you have a home phone book and a yellow page book. The thickness has been reduced from 2 inches to less than 3/4 of an inch. If you want to further downsize the home section, you can perform additional surgery by separating the coupon section. Now you’re down to about a half-inch. To further simplify things, file the yellow page section away in a drawer where you can find it for the five or 10 times a year you need it and place the traditional sized home phone book close to the phone. If enough of us perform this surgery, who knows, maybe next year we’ll pick up our books in two convenient volumes.

Tea Off

The problem with Americans is that none of us knows how to make tea. Sad. Mystifying. True. To get the proper flavor of tea, the water has to be boilING (not boilED) when it hits the tea leaves. If merely hot, the tea will be insipid. That is why I had the off ritual of warming the tea pot first (so as not to cause the boilING water to cool down too fast as it hits the pot). That is why the ridiculous habit of an American waiter bringing to my table a tea cup, a tea bag (wretched) and a pot of hot water is the perfect way of “brewing” a thin pale watery cup of swill that nobody should even smell, let alone sip. When people are intrigued about why I make such a big thing about tea (and gone so far as to have constructed a tea room), it is simply because in America, nobody has ever had a good cup of tea. When you next go to Londontown, go to an M&S and buy a packet of Earl Grey Tea. Return to your flat and boil a kettle of water. As it is coming to a boil (re-read that so nought is lost in translation), open the sealed packet and sniff. You will feel a bit dizzy but in a warm fuzzy legal way. When the kettle has boiled, pour a little of it into a tea pot, swirl it about a bit and tip it out again. Put a couple (or three, depending on size of the tea pot) of tea bags into the pot. The righteous will use free leaves but baby steps. Bring the kettle back up to a boil and then pour the boiling water as quickly as you can into the pot. Let it stand fro three minutes and then pour into a tea cup. Some people will say you should not have milk with Earl Grey, just a slice of lemon. Screw them. Put the tea at the bottom of the cup before you pour in the tea. If you pour milk into a hot cup of hot tea, you will scald the milk. If you want lemon, go for it. Drink it. Now you know why I love tea.

Hodge Podge

My job involves communication to a pathological (HA, I said “pathological) degree. Which makes for inevitable ensuing hilarity when conversing with persons for whom English is a second language. Which would include anyone born west of the Kennedy expressway.  Taking this to extremes is the concept of Engrish. Engrish constitutes (usually unintentional but hilarious) errors in the language that appear in print or other media, most commonly in Japan. I am not sure Amelia Bedelia qualifies but you get the idea.

Palais Versailles

Watching the lavishly photographed (except for one geographical error, scroll to bottom) Marie-Antoinette brought back memories of the last time I was at the Palais de Versailles. Within 50 years, the Château de Versailles was transformed from Louis XIII’s hunting lodge into an extravagant palace. Begun in 1661, its construction involved 32,000 to 45,000 workmen, some of whom had to drain marshes and move forests. Louis XIV set out to build a palace that would be the envy of Europe and created a symbol of opulence copied, yet never duplicated, the world over. Wishing (with good reason) to keep an eye on the nobles of France, Louis XIV summoned them to live at his court. Here he amused them with constant entertainment and lavish banquets. To some he awarded such tasks as holding the hem of his robe. While the aristocrats played at often-silly intrigues and games, the peasants on the estates sowed the seeds of the Revolution. When Louis XIV died in 1715, his great-grandson Louis XV succeeded him and continued the outrageous pomp, though he is said to have predicted the outcome: “Après moi, le déluge” (“After me, the deluge”). His wife, Marie Leszczynska, was shocked by the blatant immorality at Versailles. The next monarch, Louis XVI, (played as the Dauphin in the film with droll sensibility by Mr. Jason Schwarzman) found his grandfather’s behavior scandalous — in fact, on gaining the throne he ordered that the “stairway of indiscretion” (secret stairs leading to the king’s bedchamber) be removed. The well-intentioned but weak king and his queen, Marie-Antoinette (please don’t miss the hyphen, it is her complete name and not her surname), were well liked at first, but the queen’s frivolity and spending led to her downfall. Louis and Marie Antoinette were at Versailles on October 6, 1789, when they were notified that mobs were marching on the palace. As predicted, le déluge had arrived.

Napoleon stayed at Versailles but never seemed fond of it. Louis-Philippe (who reigned 1830-48) prevented the destruction of the palace by converting it into a museum dedicated to the glory of France. To do that, he had to surrender some of his own riches. Decades later, John D. Rockefeller contributed toward the restoration of Versailles, and work continues today. The magnificent Grands Appartements are in the Louis XIV style; each bears the name of the allegorical painting on the ceiling. The best-known and largest is the Hercules Salon, with a ceiling painted by François Lemoine depicting the Apotheosis of Hercules. In the Mercury Salon (with a ceiling by Jean-Baptiste Champaigne), the body of Louis XIV was put on display in 1715; his 72-year reign was one of the longest in history. The most famous room at Versailles is the 71m (236-ft.) long Hall of Mirrors. Begun by Mansart in 1678 in the Louis XIV style, it was decorated by Le Brun with 17 arched windows faced by beveled mirrors in simulated arcades. On June 28, 1919, the treaty ending World War I was signed in this corridor. The German Empire was proclaimed here in 1871. The royal apartments were for show, but Louis XV and Louis XVI retired to the Petits Appartements to escape the demands of court etiquette. Louis XV died in his bedchamber in 1774, a victim of smallpox. In a second-floor apartment, which you can visit only with a guide, he stashed away first Mme de Pompadour and then Mme du Barry (a sluttish mistress who had to achieve comtesse titling in order to be present in court). Attempts have been made to return the Queen’s Apartments to their appearance in the days of Marie Antoinette, when she played her harpsichord in front of special guests. Louis XVI had a sumptuous Library, designed by Jacques-Ange Gabriel. Its panels are delicately carved, and the room has been restored and refurnished. The Clock Room contains Passement’s astronomical clock, encased in gilded bronze. Twenty years in the making, it was completed in 1753. The clock is supposed to keep time until the year 9999. At age 7, Mozart played for the court in this room. Gabriel designed the Opéra for Louis XV in 1748, though it wasn’t completed until 1770. In its heyday, it took 3,000 candles to light the place. Hardouin-Mansart built the harmoniously gold-and-white Royal Chapel in 1699, dying before its completion. Louis XVI married Marie Antoinette here in 1770, while he was the dauphin. Spread across 100 hectares (250 acres), the Gardens of Versailles were laid out by landscape artist André Le Nôtre. At the peak of their glory, 1,400 fountains spewed forth. The Buffet is an exceptional fountain, designed by Mansart. One fountain depicts Apollo in his chariot pulled by four horses, surrounded by tritons rising from the water. Le Nôtre created a Garden of Eden using ornamental lakes and canals, geometrically designed flower beds, and avenues bordered with statuary. On the mile-long Grand Canal, Louis XV used to take gondola rides with his favorite of the moment.

New, inaugurated late in 2004, developments within the sprawling infrastructure created by the monarchs of France is the opening of Les Grandes Ecuries (the Stables), Avenue Rockefeller, immediately opposite the chateau’s main front facade, where the horses and carriages of the kings used to be housed. Visitors can watch a team of up to a dozen students, with their mounts, strut their stuff during hourlong riding demonstrations within the covered, 17th-century amphitheater of the historic stables. Do not go with any expectations that the horsemanship will re-create exclusively 17th- and 18th-century styles. With a painted backdrop that reflects a circus theme, and with costumes that are colorful and artful but not exclusive to Versailles during its heyday, the focus is on showmanship and equestrian razzmatazz rather than exact replication of period costumes or riding styles. Each demonstration lasts about an hour. Demonstrations are conducted Tuesday to Thursday, and Saturday and Sunday, at 1000 and 1100, when entrance costs 7€ ($9.10). There is an additional presentation every Saturday and Sunday at 2pm, when admission costs 15€ ($20). Ring the Versailles Tourist office (01-34-83-21-21) or the chateau directly (01-30-83-78-00). Incidentally, participation in this event provides the only official way a visitor to Versailles can easily gain entrance to the stables, which contain a warren of narrow stalls for horses, as well as a large space with a plastered ceiling that’s used as the amphitheater for displays of horsemanship.

On Christmas 1999, one of the worst storms in France’s history destroyed some 10,000 historic trees on the grounds. Blowing at 100 mph, gusts uprooted 80% of the trees planted during the 18th and 19th centuries. They included pines from Corsica planted during Napoleon’s reign, tulip trees from Virginia, and a pair of junipers planted in honor of Marie Antoinette. Still, much remains to enchant you, and the restored gardens get better every month. The French government is going to pour out $455 million into a grand restoration of Versailles and its splendid gardens. The project, it is estimated, will take 17 years, but the attraction will remain open during the work in progress. The grand design of the architects is to make the palace, dating from the 17th century, look much as it did when it was home to Louis XIV, XV, and the ill-fated XVI. Some features will be removed, such as a wide staircase ordered built by King Louis-Phillippe in the château’s last major rebuilding in the 1830s. Other features will be added, including a replica of the grille royale that was torn out after the 1789 Revolution. Facilities for those with disabilities will also hopefully begin to exist. Some tips when you go there -

• Buy your one-day Versailles Passport at the Information SNCF counter (16 to 25 Euro) near the Virgin Megastore at the Louvre (you should also buy advance tickets to the Musee Louvre here and come in through this less crowded entryway). This “Passport” is a good deal as it includes your roundtrip RER fare and entry to the grounds. You must buy tickets in advance as there are termendous line ups at every possible counter. Also pee before you enter the grounds. We packed a picnic lunch (foresight) and took the Metro to Gare d’Austerlitz and therefrom the RER (about 45 minutes) to the Versailles Rive Gauche staion. Be sure to board only any train that says VICK or VERO as others do not go all the way. From the RER, it is only a short brisk walk to the chateau peppered by hawkers and peddlers. Go to the C2 Office for an Audio Guide (a must, and included in your ticket price) and walk straight into the State Rooms and Gardens. Hit the State Rooms first as the peasants hit the gardens first. We liked the Trianons more than the Chateau.
• The State Rooms are elaborate but curiously lacking much annotation which diminishes the effect significantly. The Hall of Mirrors is currently partially under renovation by VINCI and the court yard is dug out. Be aware of this as it detracts from your expectations. The fountains are on only from 1030 to 1200 and then again 1530 to 1630. They are not musical fountains a la Bellaggio in Vegas (pardon) but there is simply baroque music emanating from obviously faux rock speakers. Don’t bother to time your walks around this.
• Food is spectacularly sparse on the grounds. As they ran out of pizza and panini by lunch time, we had to recourse to a hard baguette with bad cheese slammed in for 5 euros. There are only three (3) sets of toilets on the entire grounds and the one next to the cafe is a travesty. The one next to the Petit Trianon (restricted hours of entry when it rains, which is often) requires 50 eurocents. Exact change only. The Trianon toilets are marginally cleaner.
• Fares are reduced on Sundays but all the students will be there so don’t even think about it. Ticket prices fall after 1530 but they will close the booths at 1600. Those are nonviable tourist traps.
• The chateau is closed on Mondays, bank holidays and when official ceremonies are held so check local listings. Arrive in advance of opening (which is at 0900). The grounds admit until 1700 or 1800 (winter, summer) respectively. You must absolutely walk to the Queen’s Hamlet and the Trianons. There are intermittent trams that take you about. I believe that is an extra charge. Take umbrellas. It is quite wet with no shelters about.

100 Londontown

• Set your clock to the Big Ben.
• Photograph the Thames River.
• Take a Thames river cruise to Greenwich.
• Visit the Prime Meridian at the Royal Observatory and the National Maritime Museum in Greenwich.
• Take a flight on the London Eye.
• Stop by Grosvenor Square.
• Enter the British Museum.
• Watch a West End show.
• Buy gifts on Oxford Street.
• Stroll down The Mall to the Buckingham Palace.
• Visit Buckingham Palace.
• Watch the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace.
• Hike up the geometric staircase at St. Paul’s Cathedral.
• Take a bus through Victoria Station.
• Pub up at a J.D Wetherspoon chain pub.
• Take the London Underground everywhere.
• Mind the gap.
• Go on the Circle Line … in a circle.
• Sit in at Trafalgar Square.
• Tour the Tower of London for Crown Jewels.
• Visit the door of the Prime Minister Tony Blair at 10 Downing Street.
• Explore the Sherlock Holmes Museum.
• See photographs related to the Holocaust at the Wiener Library.
• Leave the city for a henge made of stone at Stonehenge.
• Grab lunch at the Porter’s English Restaurant (17 Henrietta Street, Covent Garden).
• See tourists in Piccadilly Circus.
• Go to the Funland or Golden Nugget Casino located within Trocadero.
• Visit the global headquarters of Reuters at Canary Wharf.
• At the Victoria and Albert Museum, walk through rooms filled with ceramic.
• Take a picnic in Battersea Park.
• Go see wild life at Battersea Park Children’s Zoo.
• Experience food in the Golders Green borough, with a mix of Kosher, Japanese, Turkish, and Italian restaurants.
• Get seen on the London cam.
• Check out Belgravia’s beautiful embassies.
• Go window shopping at Harrod’s in Belgravia.
• Quaff some ale at the Grenadier pub in Belgravia after (18 Wilton Row).
• Stop through Bayswater.
• Explore the galleries at the National Army Museum.
• Check out St. George’s Chapel in the Windsor Castle.
• Witness Evensong at the Windsor Castle. (Check the schedule!)
• Embrace the vastness of Queen Mary’s Dolls’ House, inside the Windsor Castle.
• Check out the wax sculptures at the Madame Tussaud’s museum.
• Step through the academic city in Bloomsbury.
• Enjoy your picnic lunch at Bloomsbury’s nearby Russell Square.
• Absorb Covent Garden in central London.
• Wake up early for Spitalfields fruit and vegetable market!
• Go to Dennis Severs’ House.
• Explore the city by water in a lunch or dinner cruise.
• Learn about the Bank of England at its museum.
• Pray at Westminster Abbey.
• View the the monuments at Poets’ Corner.
• Relive the life of The Beatles.
• See a show at the Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre.
• Buy toys from Hamleys Toy Store.
• Go to Hampstead Heath to see the George Michael trolling for the homeless.
• Catch a movie premiere at the cinema in Leicester Square.
• Take a train to Dover for the famous White Cliffs.
• Witness the protestors at Speaker’s Corner in Hyde Park.
• Dine at Michael Moore restaurant (19 Blandford Street).
• Stroll down Whitehall.
• Take a respite in Canterbury, home of Geoffrey Chaucer’s famous tales.
• See where the Mayor of London lives: City Hall.
• Get overwhelmed by the massive monuments at the London Wall.
• Photograph a red phone booth.
• Read a book at one of London’s specialized libraries.
• Between March and October, check out Legoland Windsor.
• Book a night for a show at the London Palladium Theatre.
• Step into royal history at the Hampton Court Palace.
• Enjoy organic at the Lavendar Lady restaurant (644 High Road, North Finchley).
• Stroll around the aisles in the National Gallery.
• Wine at the House on the Bridge Restaurant.
• Free admission to the Science Museum.
• Visit the Diana Memorial Playground where you can dash by teepees.
• Relax and have a drink at the Salisbury Pub (90 St. Martin’s Lane).
• Take an Original London Sightseeing Tour: your ticket includes a free cruise
• Watch a judicial hearing at the UK Parliament.
• When it reopens (Summer 2007), go to London’s Transport Museum.
• See the animals at London Zoo.
• Ride in a traditional London black cab.
• Shop at the elegant Burlington Arcade.
• See where Princes William and Harry went to school by stopping in Eton.
• Explore the Temple Church.
• Relive Harry Potter by stopping at Platform 9 3/4 in the Kings Cross station.
• See exhibits at Tate Modern.
• Get spooked at the London Dungeon.
• Visit the Notting Hill district.
• See a puppet show at the Little Angel Theatre.
• Sample Italian food at Carluccios.
• Feed the ducks at St. James’s Park.
• Cross the River Thames on the Millennium Bridge.
• Take a Charles Dickens Museum stop.
• Explore Chinatown at night.
• Plan an adventure at Chesssington, a theme park 12 miles outside of town
• Eat lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe (150 Old Park Lane) to buy an expensive tee.
• Take a tour of Wimbledon, even if you don’t love tennis!
• Go to Bath.
• Enjoy Somerset House.
• Feel scholarly after taking a trip to Oxford.
• Buy some Cadbury sweets.
• Watch a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta performance at the historical Savoy Theatre.

Tuscan Wineries

There are issues you need to be aware of before planning a trip. First, see the film “Under the Tuscan Sun”. Now forget everything you saw in it. Reality check list alert.

• The roads, by now mostly paved, twist and are more suited to horses and Vespas than SmartCars. No road even resembles a straight line. But there are loads of signs so you need to pay attention. A good road map and a Garmin are key.
• Tuscan wineries, regardless of size, are hard to find. Often there are no signs or street addresses on the property itself. You need to zigzag around a comune/township or ask for directions. Asking is no guarantee. You will probably just stumble into one at the end of a hidden gravel road.
• English is often spoken but don’t expect it. You have to know basic Italian or some sign language. The people are genuinely friendly and want to help you. Most bigger wineries have English brochures with really quaint translations.
• Some wineries have small shops so you can pop in to buy wine or EVOO. Look for a sign which says “Vendita Diretta”. There is no gift shop with fucking fridge magnets and relish.
• Wine tastings are usually free (but you should buy something – you will feel guilty) or at some nominal fee. Booked tours are possible. Bigger wineries take walkups all the time. Everyone closes for lunch 1300-1500 and so should you. Ring to make an appointment and be nice enough to cancel if you cannot. Get a winery map by visiting the Consorzio of the area. Very few wineries turn down visitors if you ask nicely.
• No more than 1 glass before you drive. They drive fast and the roads wind. Taste and spit, or have a designated driver. It is simply not worth it otherwise.

Some wineries you already know are Verrazzano, Altesino, Banfi, Rocca della Macie, Dievole, and Ricasoli.

Singapore Sling

Montalcino Musings

Montepulciano is the biggest and highest of southern Italy’s hill towns with medieval alleyways and loads of palazzos and chiusas (churches). The fields around it produce a violet scented orange speckled ruby red wine called Vino Nobile di Montepulciano, called the king of all wines. It is #2 only to the beefy Montalcino’s Brunello. The locals call themselves Poliziani after the Roman name of the town.

You can get here by rail. Use the Chiusi/Chiancino Terme stazione. There are 30 daily trains on the main Roma-Firenze line (1 h 45 – 2 h 45′ from Firenze) or the 16 trains on the secondary Siena line (1h 15). On the Siena line, do not get off at Montepulciano Staz and local LFI buses to Montepulciano are coordinated with trains only at the Chiusi stazione. The adventurous (not me!) can drive: from Siena (quicker, more scenic) is south on the SS2 to San Quirico d’Orcia, then the SS146 through Pienza to Montepulciano. From Firenze, take the A1 South to the Chiancino Terme exit, then the SS146 (directio Chianciano) for 11 miles. Which is 18 km. You could take the bus in which case I will probably never hear from you again. You can get tickets at Caffe Tubino in the little parking lot just below Porta al Prato (Tra-in and Ferroviaria) or the tabacchi at Via Gracchiano del Corso 36-38 (for LFI).

The tourist office is on the right side of Sant’Agostino at Via Gracchiano nel Corso 591 (Phone 0578-757-341), and is closed Sunday afternoons. Thursday is Market Day.

The local wine consortium has a tasting center in the Palazzo del Capitano on Piazza Grande where you can sample Mon thro Fri (1100-13300; 1600-1900) and Sat (1100-1500). Montepulciano has more enoteche and cantine (wine cellars) where you can sample local products such as pecorino, honey, olive oil and the nobile of course. The Pulcino shop (Via Gracciano nel Corso 80) is wonderful. The Gattavecchi cantine is intriguing. Also visit the Contucci winery and Avignonesi show room.

En route to Chiusi is the spa town of Chiancino.

Some important links to know:

• Trenitalia.com: timetables and tickets for all Italian destinations by train.
• Trainspa.it: bus connections from and to Montalcino.
• ViaMichelin.it: to plan your itinerary with driving directions and maps.
• Sena.it: bus connections from major Italian cities to Siena.
• ProlocoMontalcino.it: the local Tourist Office with pleanty of information about the town.
• ConsorzioBrunelloDiMontalcino.it: web site of the local wine association with links to most of wineries.
• Weather Forecast: by ilmeteo.it.
• Treno Natura: visit the Crete Senesi and Brunello vineyard on a steam train.

Perfect Florence

“Chi vuol esser lieto, sia; di doman non v’e certezza” – Make merry now, who knows what comes tomorrow. A long weekend in Firenze so what do you do? Luckily, Firenze is very walkable so you don’t need to hire a car. Just remember the street numbering scheme. There are two sets of numbers – normal and rosso (red). The latter is marked with “r” and printed in red on street signs. If your street is not a rosso, just follow the blue and black street numbers. Book a suite at the Torre di Bellosguardo, a Renaissance palace hotel where each room has frescoes. Request a room with a view (of course) and feel free to wander about the palace as requested by owner baron Amerigo Franchetti. Ring for a cab for Piazza della Signoria for breakfast at Bar Rivoire. Bypass the cappuccino for a superlative cioccolata calda (hot cocoa) in the sunshine. Walk across to Galleria degli Uffizi (order tickets online to bypass the 3 hour long queues) but before that duck into town hall and circle the court yard. For lunch, head to Belledonne, a trattoria frequented by office workers and enjoy the menu del giorno from seasonal produce. Radicchio. Zucchini with avocado. Head to the Officina Profumo-Farmaceutica di Santa Maria Novella. This is part monastery, part museum and part homeopathic paradise. Buy balsamic vinegar. Dab some Caterina de’ medici cologne (Acqua della Regina). Visit the Duomo and adjoining baptistery. The latter has intricate Gates of Paradise doorways on which Lorenzo Ghiberti spent his entire life. The dome is all terra cotta. Climb the corkscrew to the duomo top for the view. As the sun sets, descend from the cupola for La Pentola dell’Oro for crostini misti alla toscana. Finish with house desserts before heading to Jazz Club until 0200. Walk about Firenze before dawn when moped roars are replaced by fontana splashes.

Don’t sleep in too long as you head to breakfast at Gilli for rustici pastry nuggets with chocolate and truffles or marzipan cookies. You’re on holiday. Walk under the Triumphal arch to Via dei Tornabuoni. Palazzo Spini Feroni for Ferragamo HQ. Second floor for shoes. Turn down Via della Spada for Cellerini on Via del Sole. Leatherworks are authentic (expensive also) if the bottega (workshop) is on the premises. Lunch at Cantinetta Antinori in the Palazzo Antinori. Cross the river for antiquaries on the Via Maggio. No. 13 is Bartolozzi e Maioli. Use your Platinum card. Duck down the narrow Via dei Vellutini to check out some master craftsmen. Pick up your online booked tickets to bypass the 3 hour long queues at Galleria dell’Accademia. See David last when the crowds have thinned out but the four unfinished Slaves are the true highlight. You don’t need to book a guide – I did and boy was she not worth it. Head for the Santa Croce Basilica by recrossing the Arno on Ponte Vecchio and walk upstream to Via dei Benci and walk down the right for the rombs of Machiavelli, Michelangelo and Dante. Activate the coin operated light system for Giotto’s Life of St. Francis. Take Via di San Giuseppe to Via dei Macci for prosecco at Cibreo Caffe before dinner at Cibreo. Amazing balsamic vinegars and olive oils here. Enjoy passato di peperoni soup and polpettine di ricotta. Dessert with gelati at Vivoli and then dancing at Bar Maramao. Entry is free nightly but you have to buy a showy drink on Friday or Saturday night.

Last day! All’aperto breakfast on the terrace of the Torre to enjoy the Tuscan countryside then head through the olive groves to Firenze (ask hotel staff for directions) and then take a cab to the monastery of San Marco (Savonarola and Fra’Angelico!) . Then head for the tourist free Museo Nazionale del Bargello. Try Chianti quartinos at I Fratellini, a standup window on the Via dei Cimatori. Pecorino cheese panino! Cab it to San Miniato al Monte, the most beautiful church in the world. Walk down to city center by Via San Leonardo and hit a classical concert offered in a church. Ask the hotel staff where the locals go. Dinner at Caffe Concerto with sax live music and exotic tropical plants around you. For dessert, ask for crepes al limone. It won’t be on the menu but just ask. Trust. En route home, ask the cabbie to stop for five (5) minutes at Piazzale Michelangelo. If you haven’t been in love before, this is what it feels like. Again, trust.

Open Table

Sometimes you have to try inside tricks to get tables at the leading restaurants. Please check numbers locally as some will change over time. All times are local to the city wherein the dining place is located, corrected for summertime or DST

• Fat Duck (Berkshire, UK; 011-44-162-858-0333): Ring exactly 2 months in advance at 0900
• Spago (Beverly Hills; 310-385-0880): One table every night for AmEx Platinum or Centurion Concierge. Ask for it. They don’t really check your AmEx card. This is assuming you have ANY AmEx card. You should – lowest rate for exchange (1%) overseas. Apply for a Blue. No annual fee and good cash back policy.
• Matsuhisa (Beverly Hills: 310-659-9639): Ring at 0900 exactly one month before or after 1000 for that day’s first cancels and then again in the afternoon. It is like jury duty.
• L’Espalier (Boston; 617.262-3023): Ring as early as possible on that day. Redial. Few weeks’ notice is best.
• No. 9 Park (Boston: 617.742-9991): Only 6 of 19 tables go open. Ring between 1530 and 1630 for cancels.
• Grill 23 and Bar (Boston: 617.542-2255): Ring for cancels on Thu or Fri
• Katsuya (Brentwood: 310.207-8744): Ring after 1500 the same day.
• Alinea (Chhicago; 312.867-0110): Exactly 2 months ahead on the first day of the month at 1000. Friday at 1100 for cancels.
• Frontera Grill (Chicago; 312.661-1434): No bookings (officially) but gives out cancels the same day. Ring 0830
• Tru (Chicago; 312.202-0001): 3 parties seated every 15 minutes until dining room full. Ring Scott at 312.493-4281*
• Picasso (Vegas; 702.693-7223): Ring after 1400. Best to ring Gilles at 702.296-5203*
• Nobu (Londontown; 011-44-207-447-4747): Formal! Ring between 1700 and 1900 for cancels.
• Koi (LA; 310.659-9449): Ring often between 1600 and 1800. Best via concierge at W or Four Seasons. A concierge trick is to determine which level the desk is at, then walk DOWN to it on a stairway or get OUT of the elevator facing the desk and walk straight to the desk. The assumption is you are a guest there – they never bother to check.
• Cut (LA: 310.276-8500): Ring exactly one month in advance at 0930. 5 of 27 tables for Four Seasons. The concierge will help even if you’re not a guest. Plus he is cute.
• Nobu Malibu (Malibu; 310.317-9140): Ring exactly one month before at 1000. Ring in am for cancels. Sit at sushi bar.
• Table 8 (Miami; 305.695-4114): Only 1830 table are opentable. Concierge at Regent SoBe Hotel. Late morning rings for cancels
• Prime One Twelve (Miami; 305.532-8112): Ring Elisa 305.395-0327*
• David Bouley Evolution (Miami; 305.604-6090); Nobody eats at 1900 so book it. Ring Dindy 305.672-4709*
• Davidburke & Donatella (NYC; 212.813-2121): Easy booking. Ring Teddy 917.584-9295*
• Le Bernardin (NYC; 212.489-1515): 1900 is filled with theater crowd. Eat before/after.
• Gramercy Tavern (NYC; 212.477-1025): Ring exactly 28 days before at 0900 weekdays (0930 weekends)
• Le Cirque (NYC; 212.644-0202): Ring for tables early or after 2100
• A Voce (NYC; 212.545-8555): Ask Dante for his email address when you ring. Blackberry him.
• Rao’s (NYC; 212.722-6709): Talk to Nick at the bar about cancels. Tip him.
• Le Comptoir du Relais (Paris; 011-331-4455-5155): Concierge Hotel Relais St-Germain. 1930 for cancels.
• Mori Venice Bar (Paris; 011-331-4329-1205): Ring Mori 011-33-622-14-08-02*
• L’Astrance (Paris; 011-331-4050-8440): Exactly 3 months in advance. Variable holiday schedule. 2 days for cancels.
• Spring (Paris; 011-331-4596-0572): Exactly 1 month in advance. Email Daniel freshsnail@free.fr
• Vetri (Philly; 215.732-3478): Noon exactly two months ahead. Leave voicemail for time stamp. Monday is easy.
• El Bulli (Rosas; 011-34-972-150-457): Ring mid-October or email Ferran bulli@elbulli.com. Seats 8000 between April and September, half of them regulars.
• Cyrus (Healdsburg; 707.433-3311 ): Exactly 3 months ahead at 1030. Email Doug dougkeane@cyrusrestaurant.com. Ask for table #15 or 16. His extension is 104*
• Michael Mina (SF; 415.397-9222): Nothing at 1900 but lots earlier and later. If you eat at another Mina restaurant, ask the staff there to make a booking for you. Sneaky but that is how I am where I am. Deal with it.
• Quince (SF; 415.775-8500): Exactly one month ahead at noon. Ring 3 days ahead for cancels, then get placed on a call back wait list.
• Myth (SF; 415.677-8986): Ring Eloisa at 2100 the night before for cancels.
• Fleur de Lys (SF; 415.673-7779): Nothing at 1900 but earlier and later. Ring at 1100 for same day cancels.
• Fifth Floor (SF; 415.348-1555): 2 weeks notice. Walk ups have a 30 minute wait
• Minibar (DC; 202.393-0812): Exactly 1 month ahead at 0900. 6 seat restaruant in the Cafe Atlantico. Ring direct – you will be asked about food preferences. No bookings through secretaries or concierges, you naughty person! I love it.

*Personal mobile numbers. Please be respectful and do not call at hours when you would not wish yourself to be disturbed. Between 1000 and 1200 local works best.

So I know you want to know how to get a table at TFL. OpenTable won’t work until they set their system to permit reservations 61 days out (It is still set at 59 for February’s missing days) so you should send them a note. Usually there are two tables available at TFL every day (a four top at 1730 and a four top at 2100). There is nearly never a two top available. Dinner is more competitive so if you shoot for lunch, you have a better shot. Tables open exactly at midnight Pacific time (Change for corrected PDT and summertime). You need to know when the OT clocks strike midnight. All of the OT servers are synchronized so visit www.time.gov and click on the time zone (Eastern for Per Se if you are on the wrong coast. Ha). Be ready. The first person to click the link – you have to be the first to click – and you get a few minutes to fill in your 411 in peace. Once you see the page where you fill out your credit card, you’ve locked the table for a few minutes. Go to this page earlier in the evening. For the time use 1915. OT will look 2 hours plus/minus for a suitable reservation. I’ve seen 1730 and 2100 tables available so 1915 is right in the median. Keep your browser window on the “Your requested date exceeds…” page. Open in a new window (NOT A NEW TAB) the www.time.gov webpage and when 11:59:55 strikes, click RELOAD in your browser until you see available tables show up or a “No tables are available” message. If you see that error message, you lose. Do NOT clock so fast that you don’t get time to process what appears on the screen. If you click RELOAD like a pimply teenager playing Frogger, you might get the option to book a table and then lose it immediately with the next RELOAD. If you are lucky to see a time slot appear, quickly click the time you are offered and enjoy your smugness.

Montalcino Brunello

Both wines are made largely from Sangiovese and both regions are in Tuscany, with Montalcino more arid with soil rich in limestone and sand but I cannot tell the difference between chianti classico and brunello di Montalcino.

Nebbiolo is a red grape grown mostly in Piemonte enjoyed as far back as 1235 (castelli Rivoli), and is currently used in the production of Barbaresco and Barolo. Barbera is a wine grape from Monferrato (also in Piemonte) that produces an intense red wine with low tannins and high acidity, now used in California to provide the backbone for jug wines. Its best known varietal wines are Barbera d’Asti (made in Asti) and Barbera d’Alba (from Alba) with some ageing potential, yet is the perfect pizz and bbq wine.

Moon Rise

 

37.076 degrees, 42.5 minutes North; 121 degrees, 57.6 minutes West; 2058 PDT

Tonight I miss her most of all.